I am sitting here on the eve of Christmas Eve listening to "Hallelujah" watching a digital fire on the television and feeling very blessed. By now I thought I would be holding my newborn baby in my arms, but unfortunately my baby is very comfortable in my womb and has not made its appearance yet. However, I can feel it kicking and squirming in my womb as I am typing this. My son is running around laughing and shining his brown eyes at me. My hardworking husband has fallen asleep upstairs and we are all mostly healthy besides a little cough and stuffy noses. God has blessed me so much. Our bank account is almost empty, whose isn't around Christmas? But our needs are met and my son is happy. My heart is full tonight. I am so thankful for this beautiful life I have been given, and for the beautiful blessings I have been given: my wonderful husband and two beautiful children. My parents and my in-laws are so amazing. They are so supportive and such fantastic grandparents to Elijah. I am truly blessed this Christmas.
Even though most of me doesn't want this baby to be born on Christmas (the child wouldn't have a day that is focused on them for their birthday, and I don't want to ruin my midwifes Christmas), part of me thinks it would be kind of neat to be birthing a child on the day that we honor Christ's birth. I know that December 25th is not really the day Christ was born, it was more likely in the summer sometime. But I think it would be a very spiritual moment laboring on the day that we think of as the day that Mary was laboring in the stable, working very hard to bring the Savior of the world into the world. No matter what, laboring and birthing a child is a very spiritual experience, and I am looking forward to being able to do it again. I am excited to be doing it in the place that, at least for now, I call home, with loved ones surrounding and supporting me. But most of all I am looking forward to holding my new baby and looking into their eyes, their soul.
Hopefully my time will come soon. I am eager to meet my baby. I hope you have a blessed Christmas and I truly wish you love, peace, and joy!
With Much Love, Caitlyn (The Sustainable Mama)